Caesar

Hello there! I am Julius Caesar; I grace your presence now with a terrible tale to tell you. Many, many years ago, many cold, stressful, painful, agonizing years ago I was entombed in a block of ice. I was lost to the ages, a transient of time. Now that I have “thawed out,” I promise you the expression “chill out man” is not lost on me, now that I am in this present age, I find that a tragedy has befallen us all, me especially. That is, to say that I am not recognized as the rightful heir to the Roman throne. Can time undo the greatness that is Caesar? I think not! This cannot stand, this cannot be, therefore I entreat you, fair citizens of the inter-web, join with me! Form my army! March alongside me as we rise up in numbers greater than the sons to reclaim what is rightfully mine. And I will share some of it with you, so yes, if you pledge with me, if you catch this vision for a greater world, ruled by me, then do two things. No three things! As I am feeling quite generous today. First, tell all your friends that Caesar, the one true emperor of Rome has been found. Secondly, join my cause, enlist in the army of Caesar, champion all that I do and say, follow my actions, heed my wisdom and advice, and ask me questions from time to time. Thirdly donate your time, your life, and all your voluptuous women, to me! For the purpose of furthering my empire. Though I should probably clarify that by voluptuous, I do not mean fat, I mean healthy and curvaceous.

You know the story, you have the charge, I beseech thee to watch my blog for updates, if you do well I will come back and tell you of our progress and I will keep you informed in this way, it is the least I can do for your patronage. So now I say goodbye, and hello to a brighter future. Render unto Caesar what is Caesars. Peace! And War!