Now gather around everybody, I have a grand story to tell you. This story has Kings, Queens, Knights, Princes, Princesses, Peasants and Dragons. You know you're average Middle Ages story. So listen carefully.
Once upon a time, there was a peasant named Nathan. Nathan was just your average peasant but he had an extraordinary gift: tolerance. Now even though Nathan was a peasant he was close to the King and Queen, of the fair land of Trumansburg. Nathan had only two enemies, the Queen and the Dragon, but you see it wasn't always like that. Once upon a time, Nathan was a Knight and the King and Queen were happy and there was no Dragon to strike fear into Nathans heart. But that was long ago, in a time so distant it was almost like a dream.
But since then Nathan had been demoted to a lowly peasant, and while he still maintained a close relationship with the King, the Queen was constantly stepping on Nathans toes, trying to debilitate him so bad that he would just give up. What's sad is that Nathan did try to give up, twice. Twice he tried and twice he was locked in the stockade. And the stockade tried to help Nathan to get back on his feet, but Nathan found it was hard, especially when the Queen kept knocking him down. But Nathan decided that no matter how great his desire to give up was, he still kept his head high. So to keep himself from cracking from the pressure, Nathan moved in with the King, and felt mildly better. But after a while Nathan felt the pressure again, especially from the Queen, but now he had a new front to fight, because the Queen sent the Dragon to fight him. The Dragon was hardly a worthy foe, but since the Queen was to chicken-shit to tell Nathan how she really felt about him, she sent the Dragon to do her dirty work.
But suddenly Nathan heard a rumor that made him jump for joy: his cousins were coming! Nathan was glad because he thought that his cousins could mitigate the Queen and the Dragons fury. And for the two weeks they were with Nathan, Prince Jón and Princess Kathleen, tempered the Queens anger, but alas the Dragon was still in full force.
Soon Prince Jón and Princess Kathleen left and Nathan felt so sad and alone. Prince Jón and Princess Kathleen had been his rock, and even though sometimes he couldn't understand them, they provided a source of comfort for him, because he knew deep down in his heart that they would never judge for being who he is.
Even though Nathan is but a lowly peasant, he knows that one day things will be better and the Queen and the Dragon will not make him cower in fear, and be afraid to even go home. But Nathan struggles still because he can't remember a time when he was truly happy, and all the potions the witch-doctors could give him will not cure him, because his body can heal from the wounds, but his soul won't heal with those potions. They mean nothing, for his emotional self. But still Nathan keeps going.
Healing your soul... so true. Knowing your emotional self, and keeping it safe... that is so hard. I am glad you're still here. I know the desire to give up is huge, especially with the pressures that never let up.
ReplyDeleteTrying to look back and find happiness can be a very painful process. Looking ahead and finding happiness NOW can take some of the sting out of the past. Certainly cant fix it, but it can make the interim time more bearable.
I am glad you keep pushing on!